Rev. Robin Renteria, Ph.D.
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Robin Renteria, (919) 818-6362, Robin@RobinRenteria.com, uuweddingminister.com
If love is the answer.
could you rephrase the question?
~ Lily Tomlin
I'm now booking through Fall 2010
Contact me for a free consultation at 919-818-6362 or
I'll reply within 24 hours of receiving it.
(919) 818-6362
As a wedding minister, wedding officiant, and wedding celebrant I primarily serve the NC Triangle and Eastern Triad: Orange, Durham, Wake, Chatham, Alamance, Guilford, Person, and Johnston counties and the towns of Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Durham, Raleigh, Hillsborough, Cary, Mebane, Holly Springs, Fuquay Varina, Apex, Morrisville, Bahama, Burlington, Efland, and Greensboro. I welcome and honor other requests as time permits.
Alex and Laura's Wedding - signing the license
What officiant services do you provide?
I offer civil, spiritual, interfaith, and non-denomination wedding ceremonies for heterosexual and same sex couples. I also offer memorial services and funeral services that are celebrations of the life for your loved one, baby blessings and christenings, house blessings, and pet memorials, all in your language of faith and tradition. I love these special moments of honoring the love we share and have known in our lives.
Do you have a sound system?
Yes! I have a portable battery operated sound system that I can take it to any venue for amplifying my and your voices. You can also plug in a CD or MP3 player into my amplifier (a Roland Cube Street amplifier). If there is electricity at the venue, then I can use my Samson Concert 77 wireless headset omnidirectional microphonewhich will also pick up the bride and groom's voices nearby. I have a wired microphone on a stand for other speakers/readers. If there is no electricity at the venue, I use a wired lapel microphone, and you and the readers use a wired microphone on a stand. NOTE: it's your responsibility to provide extension cords if needed.
Are you willing to perform a ceremony at a non-religious site?
I officiate weddings in whatever setting you choose - homes, churches, gardens, museums (including the butterfly room), gazebos, estates, lakes, beaches, the Old Well at UNC, on a mountain top, at resorts or hotels, or in snowy woods. They are all lovely.
What is your attire for the ceremony?
I have different attire that's possible and leave the choice up to the couple. I have ministerial robes in black and white for those who want to honor the religious role of the minister, or I can wear a black dress, off white suit, and other garb for those who want a different look. Also I love color, so I try to match the colors of the wedding. I have pictures you can choose from.
Are you flexible in the wording used throughout the ceremony, including the vows?
Totally. I welcome your ideas. You choose and approve every word that is said. I marry couples of many different beliefs, and I believe your ceremony honor your love in your own way. I've been building a compendium of resources over the last15 years of choices for every aspect of a ceremony. I provide my book to you as part of my services. We use your preferences in that, your ideas, our conversations about your love, to create a ceremony that is uniquely yours.
Can we write our own vows, if we want to?
Absolutely! I have examples to show you if you'd like, and a guide to help you write your own from scratch. You can also say spontaneous words from your heart. Sometimes each person in the couple writes their vow and I hold it for them until the ceremony. Sometimes couples write love letters to each other that they read in the ceremony. In a traditional ceremony, you only speak to each other during your exchange of vows and rings. I encourage you to express your love to each other in many different ways in the ceremony. The moment will go quickly. Make it your own.
Do you have a list of readings?
I have a list of over 100 readings and addresses drawn from ancient and modern wisdom, poetry from all over the world, religiouse and secular sources. I also welcome new choices that you bring to me. I have the work of Pablo Neruda, Maya Angelou, Rumi, the Bible, Thich Nhat Hanh, Wendell Berry, Dr. Suess, The Velveteen Rabbit, and many more. I keep adding to my collection of romantic, thoughtful, loving and light spirited ways to celebrate the paths of love and marriage.
How long are your ceremonies?
My ceremonies usually last 15 to 20 minutes long depending on the elements you choose for your ceremony. I caution you from making a ceremony so short that it's over before you know it, or so long that it become repetitious or your guests wilt in the summer heat. I've also done ceremonies for couples which flow nicely that are 40 minutes long. I create a script for us to review so that you can see if it honors your needs. I tailor the whole ceremony to you.
Do you require that premarital counseling be done?
I don't require premarital counseling. I do offer and recommend marriage enrichment that will benefit you at any point in your marriage. I use several approaches: www.Prepare-Enrich.com to help couples assess their areas of strength and build upon areas where growth is needed; Les and Leslie Parrot's, 'How To Save your Marriage Before It Starts,' Gary Chapman's 'The 5 Love Languages', the work of Harvel Hendricks, and more. I want you to have resources that will serve you all your lives.
Are you willing to conduct rehearsals?
Absolutely! I also help you assess your need for a rehearsal. I do rehearsals the day or evening before, or the day of the ceremony. Whether you have a rehearsal or not, I ensure that I understand your vision for your ceremony so that everything will go smoothly. At the rehearsal we set the tone for calm centered on your love. A wedding ceremony is ritual, not performance. It will be full of those small surprises that arise and make good stories. In the rehearsal we practice all of the formalities of your ceremony. Every detail is covered.
Often the first question I am asked is what is my fee.
My fees are consistent with other local professionals and are based on the time I spend with you in order to help you have the wedding you want. Do you want to meet beforehand? Do you want your ceremony personalized? How far will I be traveling to your ceremony? Would you like me to be available for additional meetings? Would you like me to coordinate with other wedding professionals? Do you want a rehearsal? How long before the ceremony should I be there? Answering these questions helps me determine my fee. I have a three tiered fee system, so if you just want to elope with your best friends as witnesses you don't pay the same fee as for a large formal wedding. I work with you to give you the most I can for your budget. I want you to have the wedding you want.
What sets me apart?
As an seminary educated ordained minister, I've been writing ritual and officiating at rites of passage for over 15 years. Thinking in ritual language and exploring the many different ways of expressing our deepest emotions is something I enjoy and treasure. I've studied the wisdom of the world's religions, as well as those secular philosophers and writers who seem to speak right to our hearts and souls. I respect them all and I have a wealth of resources upon which to draw.
I've been a hospital chaplain and am sensitive to the many emotional different needs that arise.
I also attend to the details and pitch in to help as needed.
Most of all I come to your wedding fully present to your needs. I'm happy in my own life, which enables me to be happy in yours.
Frequently Asked Questions (and Tips)
I love your questions. If you don't see the answer you need, please let me know. If I don't know, we'll figure it out together.
What are some tips or advice you have from your years of experience?
Your wedding is your public declaration of your love and commitment to each other. As you plan for this time of celebration and gratitude:
1. Determine what you want the tone of your wedding to be. Elegant? Playful? Family oriented? Solemn? Personal?
2. From the many wedding professionals out there, choose those who understand you vision for your wedding and want to help you create it. Your wedding is about you, not them.
3. Remember that all the decisions of getting to the wedding is a very real part of wedding. There will be tension as you make financial decisions, create new family boundaries, navigate differences. This is all a natural part of wedding. Sometimes we openly acknowledge how marriage asks us all to grow in the ceremony with words like this: 'We are here today to join these two individuals in marriage, and in doing so join two families and two faith traditions. This is a blessing that will enrich their marriage and all our lives, as our love is called to grow alongside their own.'
4. This is a wonderful time to get to know your beloved better spiritually. In our busy days, we often don't find the time for conversations about what is really important to us. That which is spiritual is not necessarily religious. Spiritual means pertaining to the spirit, that which is larger than the self, that which is vital and alive at the core of who we are. Take the time, in fun ways and at non-stressful times to get to know each other in this way. Choosing the language of our ceremony will help prompt these delicious conversations.
5. Marriage is a journey together into unknown territory. Just like you can't create your wedding alone, you'll create your marriage with the help of the love and wisdom of many others along your journey. Don't forget to ask for help when you need it. That said, your marriage will be different from anybody else's in the whole world. When difficulties arise, turn to each other to resolve them.
6. And a final ordinary but very useful tip - Your wedding day can easily become over stimulating. Each of you designate one person to be your 'go-to' person. This act of service will be their gift to you. Let them handle all the last minute needs so you can arrive less stressed to this important moment of your life. Your wedding will go by more quickly than you ever thought possible. You want to be fully present, in heart and spirit as well as body.
